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Saturday, August 10th, 2002
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5:01 am - Bah, shortest entry ever?
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Sorry for lack of posts. I slept in, some kids chugging back lake water had to be disposed of by minion #832... Dammit. I like getting the stupid ones. Oh well, tomorrow's another day.
I need a massage, my neck is fucking killing me. HAHA, wait, it can't kill me. Oh, I crack me up.
I'm still amused I came in tenth in that Jihad thing. I love you, mini minions! I'll add another year and 3 days onto all your lives. Granted, that's only if you make it to old age. If you wanna be a dipshit and walk in front of a train when one of my full fledged minions is around, they'll probably take you away before your extra time comes along. Sorry!
current mood:  sore
current music: Fade - Staind... now, to read what everyone else has to say.
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| Thursday, August 8th, 2002
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8:03 pm - Hey fuckers.
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Whoever's voting for me in that Jihad thing, you rock!
If I could find out who the hell is doing them, I'd do a killing or two for them. But I think you guys prefer to be anonymous.
Speaking of anonymous shit, and death, I decided to visit an old folks home. Why? Cuz then I can reach my quota just by walking through the halls with my scythe in tow. I don't even have to chop the shit outta 'em, they just have a heart attack at the sight of me. I mean, yea, it's a little less fun, but I'm in a lazy kind of mood as of late. Maybe I'm pregnant.
I'd like to know how that all works out, but whatever!
Anyway, keep the votes coming. I'm working on adding more friends back, yadda yadda yadda.
If you guys wanna become un-anonymous, I'll attempt to do some specific killings just for you. Yay!
current mood:  lazy
current music: Rock Machine - Copyright... ah, happy music!
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| Wednesday, August 7th, 2002
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12:52 am - Stupid move on my part.
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For some reason, I set all comments to be screened. Dammit.
Now I'll actually respond to some shit.
Ah, note to self, start getting rid of those damn neighbourhood kids.
Second note to self : Finish adding new friends. They might come to be of some use.
Damn, being a diety on Earth is starting to annoy me.
current mood:  annoyed
current music: Some rap crap.
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| Tuesday, August 6th, 2002
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9:22 pm - An apology from Death. Who saw this one coming? Not me.
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Sorry about seemingly dropping off the planet kids. I've been busy, actually doing my job for once.
I decided to take a vacation to a nice island that doesn't have a name to the outside world, so I'll just refer to it as Island. While on Island, I met up with the natives. Nasty people they were, and couldn't speak a lick of English. Of course, this also meant they didn't have computers. They managed to have a tv that didn't work, save for when they hooked up their Sega Genesis to it. I'd like to know how that worked out, but I preferred to not ask.
They probably would have tried to kill me, which in itself is funny. Oh well.
Anyway, seeing as no one knew about these people anyway, I decided to go around and see how many of them I could piss off, without bringing up the Sega. The problem of not feeling like thinking anything up, fixed itself when I accidentally rested my scythe on top of the Sega, smashing it. I should have felt bad, but when they started to chant at me in their native tounge, I couldn't think of anything better to do, but kill the lot of them off.
All 5 of them.
WHAT??? Not enough? Want me to come pay you a visit? Bitch.
Either way, I'm going to be around a bit more now. Enjoy, kiddos!
current mood: disappointed
current music: Hella Good - No Doubt... pfttt
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| Sunday, July 28th, 2002
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5:37 pm - Death needs not a subject. Death needs MANY subjects! Where the HELL is my following!?
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Alright. I thought maybe it was because I'm new, but my following is still next to non-existant. I should try harder I guess. Get out there, and bitch something royal.
Maybe later though.
I'm at work... Yes, Death has a job. Do you really think killing people makes a lot of money? Sure, if you're a hitman who works for some big time millionaire or head of government or something, but not if you're an immortal. Especially an immortal female. Sigh.
Death is an operator. Why am I talking in third person? Ew. Alright, I'm an operator. I've been told I have a nice voice. But I don't answer as 'Death'... what would you do if you called someone and they said to you... "Hello, Death speaking!" Especially if you were some old guy, thinking he was about to die.
Now that I think of it, that might be funny. Hehe.
My death count has been down lately. I think I'm getting lazy. Oh well, that's what my helpers are for. They can do the dirty work, while I write on here to you guys.
*voice echos*
Crap.
current mood: guilty
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| Friday, July 26th, 2002
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9:59 pm - Just another day.
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Was walkin along the street, lookin to buy me a newspaper, when I saw all these old cars. '40s style, I think. I don't know much about cars. I think to myself... 'Death! You should make a BIG pile-up, right at the intersection!' Then I remembered my paper, and changed my mind.
I read the paper, and saw that whole, World Youth Day, whatever, thing, up in Toronto, and think I should go pay them all a visit. I mean, hey, they all think they're going to a better place cuz they kiss the Pope's old ass, so I should go make some dreams come true! Or shatter them. Whichever. I bet most of those kids who came all the hell the way to Canada from overseas have killed their share of neighbourhood kids, or pissed in the city's water store. Something nasty that'll get them going somewhere they don't wanna go.
Nah, cuz I know a certain catholic (or is it christian? whatever) diety would get mad at me for picking off drones... I mean, followers, before their time, just for my own amusement.
I need some friends, who can find me potential victims. Any takers? Satan? You hit your half mark today, help out Death! I'll send you a few playboy bunnies........
current mood:  contemplative
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| Thursday, July 25th, 2002
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9:13 pm - Look, another sheep! Crap. It's me.
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Alright. Short sweet introduction. I'm Death. But you corpses-in-waiting can call me Dee. Since I know you're all going to die anyway, it'd be lame for me to say 'call me Dee and die'.
Haha.
Right. So. Now that we have that over and done with... I don't have a goal to get friends on this. Hell, I don't care if anyone reads this. But if you do, let me know about it. Don't be scared. So what if I'll wind up killing you some day. Big deal. Everyone dies. Well, everyone but me, duh.
Now, onto what happened to me today.
See, I have helpers, kind of like how people say Santa has 'helpers', but you know those are really just big perv-o guys who want kids in their laps for a couple weeks before the big day. By the way, do you know how hard it is to kill those fuckers? They're huge, and there's so fuckin many of them.
But I'm getting carried away, again. Back to my helpers, they're for real. They go out and kill people who are destined to die, or people who have pissed off me or another diety, so on and so forth.
Today was my day off, and I was just hanging out at the beach. Yea, Death likes to go sit in the sand, and watch people die slowly by the nice polluted water. Well, I was just minding my own business, when this punk ass kid throws a frisbee at me, and his damn dog comes diving at me to fetch it. Of course I was pissed off, but this was my day off, no killing on days off. This kid stomped over and yelled at me for being in his way though, and that just annoyed me. Then he mocked my scythe. That was the last straw. My dad got that scythe for me! I told him that if he and his damn dog didn't get away from me in the next ten seconds, I'd kill him, and his little dog too. Haha. Well, he didn't take me serious, and I cut off his fuckin head off, right there. Gutted the dog, dog guts spilling out over sand is pretty neat, I suggest you non-mortal ones do it sometime. Mortals shouldn't, you can go to jail for that kinda shit.
Then I went and got some ice cream, and hung out with some biker gangs. They're great, they think they're tight with me, so I let them think they are. Til I trip them up on their bikes on a busy highway. Heh. Tight that shit.
Anyway, I'm bored. Need to find something to do.
It's not easy being the sexiest incarnation of Death. Daddy would be proud... if he hadn't have been demoted. Now he's working in a morgue somewhere. I wish I knew who our boss was, I'd kick their ass. Hard.
Oh well.
current mood:  predatory
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